Why are teenage girls attracted to boys who hurt them?

Getty Images by Silvia Molina Roldán, Universitat Rovira i Virgili; Garazi Lopez de Aguileta, University of Wisconsin-Madison; Itxaso Tellado, Universitat de Vic – Universitat Central de Catalunya; Leire Ugalde Lujambio, Universidad del País Vasco / Euskal Herriko Unibertsitatea; Lidia Puigvert Mallart, Universitat de Barcelona; Miguel Ángel Pulido, Universitat Ramon Llull; Ramón Flecha García, Universitat de Barcelona, and Sandra Racionero-Plaza, Universitat de Barcelona When boy and girls reach adolescence, they are bombarded with messages that associate attraction with violence. These messages – from their peer group, TV series, films, music, social media, and so on – depict boys with violent and demeaning attitudes towards girls as attractive, but not so much those who treat girls well. An example of these messages can be seen in the 2019 film After, based on a 2014 novel of the same name. The main character starts out with a high school boyfriend – a nice guy who she treats more like a friend than a lover – but when she goes away to college she cheats on him with a more attractive “bad boy”. Her boyfriend’s response is sympathetic, which only makes him seem insecure. The girl later finds out that her new flame was...