Life after domestic violence: Learning from Black women survivors

Paméla Michelle Tate, Ph.D. by Paméla Michelle Tate, Ph.D., Special to California Black Media Partners It was the Monday morning after her husband had a “situation” involving their child, resulting in food flying in the kitchen and a broken plate. Before that incident, tensions had been escalating, and after years of unhappiness, she finally garnered enough courage to go to the courthouse to file for a divorce. She was sent to an on-site workshop, and the process seemed to be going well until the facilitator asked, “Have you experienced domestic abuse?” She quickly replied, “No, my husband has never hit me.” The facilitator continued the questionnaire and asked, “Has your husband been emotionally abusive, sexually abusive, financially abusive, technologically abusive or spiritually abusive?” She thought about how he would thwart her plans to spend time with family and friends, the arguments, and the many years she held her tongue. She reflected on her lack of access to “their money,” him snooping in her purse, checking her social media, computer and emails, and the angry blowups where physical threats were made against both her and their children. At that moment, she realized she had been in a long-suffering domestic abuse relationship....