Alone or Lonely: When Solitude Becomes Unhealthy

Life brings its ups and downs. When my father passed away last year, I needed some time alone…apart from courteous “How’re you doings” and polite “You need anythings”…to process the solemn reality of it all. It was bigger than me and covered me in a cloud of moments of dark mourning, but it was small and personal enough to leave an opening for a rainbow to shine through, the hope and promise of better days. I was older when my dad died at age 92 than when my mom did. I was 19 and she was 57. He had been the parent left behind when I lost my mom. He received all the anger, teenage frustrations, disappointment, and mood changes, then later all the love and respect, honor, praise, and ongoing requests for advice an adult child can give and benefit from. After working through the problems that my mom’s sudden departure from us left behind, a huge hole in our then family of three, I came to appreciate him and understand him better. While my response to his death was the choice to be alone, my response to my mom’s death was one of profound loneliness. Anchor and rock,...